Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Hello! It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been dealing with custody court, meeting with other anti-polygamy people/groups, and working my jobs.

I've gotten quite a bit more information from the inside (Kingston Polygamous group). I got a hold of a Dance Card! I've tried to upload it here, but for some reason I couldn't. So instead, I'll describe what it's about and what's on it.

I realize there have been dance cards made before so that people would dance. For example, I heard of a dance card where you had to have girls/boys sign it, kind of promising to dance with you. That way people were dancing and not just sitting on the sidelines. That's a great way to make sure everybody dances and has fun, so I approve. This dance card, however, is completely different. This card was designed to keep more control on their young people.

On the first of the paper in bold letters it says," DANCE CARD", then underneath it is, "For Dance Card use ONLY. Please DO NOT use for scratch paper. Thank you!" Then there's a space for Name, Date, Type of dance (Holiday, Wendell's (picture Mr. Burns from The Simpson), etc), Time arrived, and Time departed. Under that it says, "List the people you dance with on the lines below. At the end of the dance, turn your dance card into your parents. Try to spend 50% of your time learning something new." Then there's 4 columns, First column says "Partner First and Last name", 2nd column says "Dance Step (Waltz, Fox Trot, etc)." The other two columns are the same. There's 50 spaces for names and steps. On the very bottom of the paper says, "Reviewed by and date (meaning date reviewed)."

Okay let's talk about this for a second. We'll start at the beginning. What if you really needed scratch paper? What if somebody was leaving a message you had to give to somebody else and that was the only paper you had on hand? I mean seriously? Hey at least they're being polite with the "Thank you!" Alright that brings us to the "Time arrived and Time departed" that's a little bit strange isn't it? I think there's enough said about that. I just wanted to point it out. Also I realize people are going to think, "O look they're trying to get their young people to try new things!" That's what they want it to seem like. When you hear how the card works you start to realize that's not their main focus. So now I will explain to you how this dance card works. For the boys in the group they are supposed to write the names of girls they want to dance with on the card before the dance. They then give the card to their parents. Their parents review it and can take away or add any girls' names they want their sons to dance with. The boy's parents meet with the parents of the girls that they REALLY want their sons to dance with (or marry) and okay it with the girl's parents. The boys have to dance with the girls that are already on their card. If they finish the card before the dance is over and they dance with any other girls they have to add the names of the girls that weren't on the card, along with the style of dance. After the dance they have to return the card back to their parents. The parents initial and put the date that they reviewed it after the dance.

So after the parents review it I'm not sure what happens to the card. I've asked and none of the young people know either. I do know that the Kingstons practice the Law of one above another, so I'm wondering if the parents have to turn the cards into the man that is "above" their family. Now this is not confirmed, it is just a thought I had. So now I must go, and I promise not to go MIA for so long again...Unless I go on vacation or something. ;)

1 comment:

  1. The part that kills me is the combination of your parents essentially OKing (determining) your partner choice, and then you HAVE to dance with those people and basically only those people.
    Once again, I'm struck by the uncomfortable realization that I would not have survived being raised in such an environment. Either I would have physically perished, or I would have been so emotionally beaten down that I wouldn't even vaguely resemble the person I am today.