It couldn't be further from the truth. This depiction, or demonization of Post Mormons is merely propaganda to lump all Post Mormons into a single category that is anti-mormon wanting to tear the church down brick by brick. Some do, and I can't deny that, but most don't. It's also easier for Mormons to see all Post Mormons as the same type because most Mormons have a stereotype. If you're Mormon, you're understood by Mormons, or more to the point, each Mormon can understand the Mormon part of you. Therefore, it's easy to reason that all Post Mormons must be the same. Right?
Post Mormons are all the same in one single area. They once used to be a part of the LDS Church, and left. Mormons usually can't wrap their head around why anyone would leave such a wonderful and loving organization. But people do for various reasons, and Post Mormons are extremely diverse as this survey shows.
Focusing on anti-mormons, you'll see a thousand or so here and there with a grudge, and a bone to pick. There are facebook groups, general conference protests, and so on and so forth with the complete and total dedication to bring the LDS Church to it's knees. A thousand is a generous number of spiteful Post Mormons, but out of how many? Millions? Angry anti-mormons are usually seen as a small number, and the LDS Church so large, but there are more Post Mormons, than there are Mormons. Fancy that; a much larger number not making waves for their former comrades.
Why are they angry then, if so many aren't? Aside from the ideal that Post Mormons are very diverse, there's a progression when they leave the LDS church. What every Mormon has is The Gospel, and it's basically Mormon Doctrine Personified. The Gospel itself was a very real and important part of our lives because we were once Mormon, and losing the Gospel was so very painful. It's loss is akin to a death in the family, or some other momentous loss. Just like with death, there is a grieving process.
The 5 stages of Grief
Denial / Isolation
At first, our head is spinning because the world we grew up in, and everything we know is crumbling. We don't know how to handle it, and we deny it. It can't be. We search, ponder, and pray, but nothing. We get frantic, and search through everything we can find in the hopes of validating our cherished beliefs that are no longer. It's truly maddening.
After accepting the LDS Church is, dare I say it, not true, we get angry. How could the church lie to us? Why did I give them so much money? They are still fooling my family and friends? These issues are frustrating, but they are just a catalyst for the real problem. Once finding out the LDS church isn't true, we of course share our doubts with our families. Only instead of understanding, and comfort, the usual response, is ignorance, belittlement, and fear.
We just lost our precious Gospel, and are hurting so very badly, that when we reach out to our family and friends for support during a most hurtful time... We get shunned. That's like going to a funeral, and kicking a widow or widower in the stomach for losing their spouse. How dare they lose someone they love? And that is where this extreme hostile anger comes from. Pure unadulterated pain and suffering.
After the anger subsides a wee bit, there's the bargaining stage which usually consists of trying to find another religion that's true, or trying to find a belief system. Something to replace the gaping hole that the Gospel filled. Some even consider going back to the LDS Church because it hurts so badly not to have that comfort. (I've never seen anyone actually go back after losing belief.)
The LDS Church covers all bases. It's a social group, and most Mormons derive their social needs directly from other members, so that's gone. The beliefs are gone. The support group is gone. Family and friends are distant. Getting out of bed is tough. Everything just sucks.
At this stage, Post Mormons are usually putting their lives back together again. They've usually custom built their own Moral code to replace the cookie cutter mormon one. Hobbies, and activities have replaced callings and church service. They focus more on life rather than church. From here Post Mormons branch out everywhere. Most leave the Post Mormon communities because they are no longer needed. They settle in their respective lives happy without Mormonism.
President Henry B. Eyring, in speaking about those with doubts, said: “In your love for them you may decide to try to give them what they ask. You may be tempted to go with them through their doubts, with the hope that you can find proof or reasoning to dispel their doubts. Persons with doubts often want to talk about what they think are the facts or the arguments that have caused their doubts, and about how much it hurts. … “You and I can do better if we do not stay long with what our students see as the source of their doubts. … Their problem does not lie in what they think they see; it lies in what they cannot yet see. … We do best if we turn the conversation soon to the things of the heart, those changes of the heart that open spiritual eyes” (“‘And Thus We See’: Helping a Student in a Moment of Doubt” [address to Church Educational System religious educators, Feb. 5, 1993], 3, 4; si.lds.org).
Here we are going through one of the most horrific experiences in our lives, and our friends and family are being counciled Not to talk with us about our hurt and pain. We're alone in our doubts. So is there really any wonder why there are angry Post Mormons?
Tip for Mormons: When someone is having doubts, just love them. Don't be scared, or hurt that they no longer believe. Just love them. Be as open and accepting to them as you were before you found out they no longer believed.
All in all though, Mormons truly do get a very nice pass on most Post Mormons being angry because the truly spiteful and hateful anger is only a stage in the grief process. Granted, there are some grudges held because we got duped for 10% of our money, and quite a bit of our free time. But most importantly, we still love our family and friends very much, and they are still being exploited.
Many have gone through the grieving process alone, but luckily, there are Post Mormon Communities out there to help people during their exit. Our sense of community was not lost in our exit.